


Living for the Rest of my Life

by ikuzonos



Series: The Friends We Used to Know [12]
Category: Dangan Ronpa, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe, Multi, Spoilers, the ships would have been surprising had i published this a month ago like i planned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-08
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-10-29 11:34:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10853151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ikuzonos/pseuds/ikuzonos
Summary: Even at the early hour, he can see cars moving around at what feels like the speed of light. They look like toys, considering how high up he is. Almost as if he’s a whole world away.All comes back to the front.[Major Endgame NDRV3 Spoilers]





	Living for the Rest of my Life

**Author's Note:**

> WOW. This took so much longer than I thought it would, I'm sorry about that! I really really hope this ending was worth the wait!

The sun hasn’t quite risen when Saihara awakens from a dreamless sleep. He rolls over on his futon, and tugs the thick quilt over him again. He lies there for a good ten minutes, but finds himself unable to fall back asleep.

Old habits die hard, he supposes.

He sits up and rubs his eyes, then takes a glance at his clock. It’s just past six-thirty in the morning, so it’s not unreasonable to be awake, especially now that he’s twenty-nine. People probably _expect_ him to be awake now.

Then again, people expect a lot of things from him, and Saihara has always been terrible at meeting expectations.

He climbs out of bed, bare feet meeting the hardwood floor. Saihara wanders over to his window and peeks through the curtains, looking down at the city below. Even at the early hour, he can see cars moving around at what feels like the speed of light. They look like toys, considering how high up he is. Almost as if he’s a whole world away.

Saihara kicks the wall. It’s too early for his brain to be waxing poetic.

He steps away from the window, settles down at his tiny desk in the corner, and boots up his laptop. He taps his foot mindlessly against the floor as the laptop begins to hum. It’s the third of March, according to the calendar. He bites down on the canker sore in his mouth.

(ten years have gone by and he still feels queasy as the second week of march approaches even though he should be over this by now it shouldn’t make him want to _cry_ oh god why does it make him cry)

The mail application pings on the toolbar, and Saihara clicks on it. It takes what feels like an eternity to load, but eventually all his emails appear. He has three unread ones, and he mindlessly scrolls through.

The first is from some website that hosts petitions. He scoffs and deletes it without even reading it. He signs one thing, _one thing,_ three years ago, and he gets hounded for the rest of his life. The second is from a publishing website, saying that ‘You’ve got kudos!’ He reads through it, then deletes it. He knows that they don’t really care. You get comments if they care.

The third and final email is from ‘kguuji@tdr.com’ - an address that Saihara doesn’t initially recognize. There’s no subject line either, which is even weirder. He clicks on it, and carefully begins to read.

_Hello, friends! As you may recall, this is Korekiyo Shinguuji. I realize that I’ve lost contact with most of you, and I’m very sorry about that!_

Saihara blinks a few times, and leans back in his seat. Just to make sure that he’s not dreaming, he pinches himself, then reads the first line again. He hasn’t spoken to Shinguuji in nearly eight years now.

Regretfully, he’s lost contact with nearly everyone. There’s a month old unreplied to email from Hoshi still sitting in his inbox and a two foot high pile of letters in his closet from the others, some of which have never been opened.

_I found out from Kiibo that it is almost the ten year ‘anniversary’ of when the virtual reality simulation ended. Because of this, I thought it might be appropriate for us to all get together again! Many of us have fallen out of touch, so this is the perfect opportunity to reconnect!_

Saihara shuts his eyes. He takes a deep breath, letting the words sink in. He feels his heart panicking just a little bit. He hates that he still feels like shit when he hears about the simulation.

_It will take place at my house on the eighth. I have attached my address and general directions to this email! Please RSVP as soon as you can, I need to know how many lawn chairs to purchase. Feel free to email me if you have any questions or concerns!_

_Yours, Shinguuji._

Saihara rubs his face. Part of him wants to go to the event, but most of him is screaming at him to ignore the email, just like how he ignores everything to do with his past. When Saihara moved out of his uncle’s house, he had chosen to live in the city he did because of how unpopular _Dangan Ronpa_ had been there. Once or twice, he had been stopped by passersby who wanted his autograph, but mostly, he was able to keep a low profile.

What if he does go? What if the people there feel uncomfortable seeing him? He knows there’s at least one person who would rather die than see him again, the same person that he didn’t even try to contact once.

Saihara spins around in his chair, looking everywhere but at the email. His eyes fall upon his bookshelf that doesn’t quite brush the ceiling. Somewhere on that shelf is his first complete manuscript for his novel, the one that he had fought tooth and nail to get published. He’s proud of that book. It was the final nail in the coffin against Team _Dangan Ronpa,_ who had spent six months in court, trying to reboot the series.

He spins back around and hits ‘reply.’

_Shinguuji-kun,_

_Saihara here. I’ll be there! What time should we arrive? Should we bring anything?_

Saihara sends it before he can change his mind. He rolls away from his desk, and lets out a long breath. He supposes he can check ‘made a big decision without panicking’ off of the checklist his therapist gave him.

Saihara pushes his laptop screen down. He gets up from his desk and shuffles across the floor, leaving his bedroom at last.

The smell of hot coffee hits him the second that he comes out of his room. Two steaming mugs sit on the kitchen table and he smiles slightly. He slips into the empty chair, and places his hands around the mug. Saihara breathes in the aroma, then takes a long sip. It’s peaceful.

“Morning, Shuuichi,” comes the gentle voice across the table from him.

Saihara smiles, “Hi, Kaede. How are you feeling?”

Kaede twirls a lock of hair around her finger, “I’m okay. I didn’t sleep very well, though.”

“Nightmares again?” Saihara asks.

She shakes her head, “I almost wish, though. I was restless the entire night, and I kept drifting in and out.”

Saihara hums quietly in response. He's had so many mornings like that, he knows the exhaustion she's feeling.

Kaede adds, “Also… we need a new toaster.” She points behind him, and Saihara turns in his seat to see the smouldering metal sitting on top of the garbage can.

“I just bought that one…” Saihara mumbles.

Kaede replies, “I think we still have the warranty.”

Saihara takes another sip of his coffee, “Where's Kiibo now?”

“Probably terrorizing the neighbours. They keep stealing our internet,” Kaede says.

Saihara snorts, “I'll change the password later.”

It was three years ago now, but the memory of Saihara’s toaster catching fire and burning the toast inside to slag, effectively destroying it, would forever haunt him, as would Kiibo’s voice just after, apologizing for arriving without warning. (Later, Saihara had emailed Maki, thanking for her sending him a copy of Kiibo’s AI without telling him what it was, and telling her that she owed him a toaster.)

Kaede drums her fingers on the table. Saihara takes another sip of his coffee, and looks at her over his mug. She looks no different than she did a year ago, at least in his memory. He’s sure that the photos lying around the apartment would contradict him.

-

Outside, rain slams down on the city streets. Saihara glances out the window a few times, grateful that he’s here, standing over his stove instead of on the drenched concrete. His apartment isn’t anything much, but it’s better than the storm. It’s been like this for hours, now.

The pot in front of him bubbles, and Saihara adds the noodles to the hot water. He’s making ramen - or at least, attempting to. He’s never been much of a chef, but he gets bored on weekends and evenings, so he spends that time reading recipe blogs. Not that ramen’s really a recipe, but Saihara figured it’s better than eating take out curry for the third night in a row.

As it turns out, the ramen is good but not great. Saihara sits at his kitchen table, slowly eating, when he hears a knock on his door. There’s no reason for it, it’s just past nine at night, and the weather is so abysmal that Saihara wouldn’t be caught dead in it. He gets up from his chair, and approaches the front door, opening it.

Standing in his front step and soaking wet is Kaede Akamatsu.

“H-Hi, Saihara-kun,” her voice is scarcely above a whisper. She’s shaking in her boots, water droplets flying off of her body, “Can I come i-in?”

“Akamatsu-san?” he croaks, unable to believe his eyes. He hasn’t seen her in years. In fact, Saihara realizes, he hasn’t seen her since the day he left the studio compound, around nine years ago.

(even though she promised to visit even though she promised that they would talk on skype or _something_ he never heard from her once.)

Saihara suddenly realizes that he’s been staring at her for a long time. He moves to the side, and says, “Uh, please come in! You must be freezing.”

Kaede stumbles in, and drips water all over his doormat. She carefully takes off her shoes, placing them on the heat register, still quivering. Her clothes are completely soaked through.

Saihara says, “I’ll grab you something to wear, hold on!” He races down the hall to his bedroom, and pulls open his drawers. There’s a clean pair of pajamas there, and he scoops them up in his arms, then runs back over to where Kaede is standing.

“Here. Uh, the bathroom is down the hall, first door on the left,” he says, pressing the pajamas into her arms. She nods, and disappears into the washroom to change.

Saihara walks back into his kitchen, and gets another bowl out of the cupboard. He just finished ladling ramen into it for Kaede, when he spots her hovering a few feets away. Saihara motions to her to come to the table, and she slowly shuffles over, then sits down. He places the bowl of ramen in front of her.

Kaede holds up her hands, “N-No! That’s yours. I couldn’t possibly take your-”

Saihara hands her chopsticks and a spoon, “Eat. You’re freezing, Akamatsu-san. I made too much, anyways.”

Kaede bits her lip. She stares at the bowl for a long moment, then shakily grabs the chopsticks, and begins eating the ramen. Saihara goes back to eating his own meal, and the two of them sit silently for some time, as they consume Saihara’s mediocre ramen.

Almost silently, Kaede places her chopsticks back down on the table. Saihara takes this as his cue to stop eating, and looks at her, careful not to stare for too long.

Kaede murmurs, “I… I guess you’re probably wondering why I’m here.”

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Saihara replies, despite the fact that he is indeed, very curious. But who wouldn’t be? The first time he sees her in almost a decade is like _this,_ with her sitting across from him, soaking wet, with a vacant look in her eyes. “I won’t pry.”

Kaede rocks back and forth on her seat, tapping her fingers on the table. She's shaking, but Saihara isn't sure if it's from nerves or the cold. Neither of them say a word for several long painful minutes.

When she speaks, her voice is raw, “I… My roommates kicked me out. They got d-drunk… again. I… I… couldn’t stay.”

Saihara feels his mouth dry up. Kaede trembles and shuts her eyes. Silence again overtakes the room as her words sink in.

He says softly, “You can stay here, if you want. You don’t even have to be here long, just until you can find somewhere else you can live… but the offer’s there.”

Kaede rubs her thumb in circles around her fingers as she stares down at the bowl in front of her, not meeting his eyes. She whispers, “I can’t do that to you. I didn’t contact you for nearly a decade… I shouldn’t even have shown up like this. I’m sorry for ruining your night, Saihara-kun.”

“You didn’t ruin anything,” Saihara says, completely meaning it, “In fact, even though it’s like this… I’m glad to see you again. I really missed you, Akamatsu-san.”

Kaede coughs weakly, “You shouldn’t have. I don’t deserve to be missed.”

She doesn’t leave, though. After he sets her up in his guest bedroom, she’s still there in the morning, trying to make him breakfast in penance. Saihara wonders if it’s the mentality of ‘any port in a storm’ but she stays for the next week and the month after, and two months after that when he moves to a new apartment, she comes with him.

At some point during all this, she starts calling him Shuuichi. And one morning, he wakes up and ‘Kaede’ rolls off his tongue like he’s called her that his whole life. He doesn’t remember when it started, but he doesn’t want it to stop.

Kaede’s existence in his life becomes routine, and the feeling of seeing her every morning is a good one.

-

“I got… an email,” Saihara begins slowly. He doesn’t want to rush into it all at once and scare Kaede off, especially since he already agreed to go. How humiliating would it be to have to email Shinguuji back and say that he couldn’t come after all?

Kaede looks up, curiosity flashing in her eyes, “Oh?”

Saihara nods, “It was from Shinguuji-kun. He’s invited us… _all_ of us… to a gathering at his house on the eighth.”

Kaede purses her lips and places her coffee cup back down on the table, “Ah. In celebration?”

“I suppose it’s something like that,” Saihara says, “I think it might be nice to go, but I did want to ask you about it. Because I wouldn’t want to go without you.”

Kaede pinches her lip, “So you want to go, then?”

Saihara doesn’t respond, but he figures that his silence is enough of an answer for her. He _does_ want to see the others again. Well, most of them. Ten years is ten years, but he thinks he’ll always be a little angry at Tsumugi Shirogane.

But besides her, Saihara does truly miss the others. Kaito and Tenko visit on birthdays and holidays, and he saw a few of them last year at Kirumi and Amami’s wedding, but that’s really not enough. How long has it been since all sixteen of them were in the same room? Saihara doesn’t think they’ve all met up even once since the discharge date.

Kaede takes a deep breath, “I’ll… I’ll go. I feel a bit silly, but I’m nervous about it.”

Saihara nods, “I understand.. I’m a little scared too, but the fear is almost exciting, right?”

She chuckles, “Who are you and what have you done with Shuuichi?”

He snorts. Maybe he’s trying too hard.

-

Lugging the useless toaster in a tote bag, Saihara goes to the store. He has to take breaks every few minutes - it’s been years since the surgery, but his doctor insists that he take it easy when lifting heavy objects for long periods of time - but he gets there in plenty of time.

The shopkeeper - a shaky black haired boy who can’t meet his eyes - seems bewildered by Saihara’s vague explanation about the toaster exploding, but Saihara really doesn’t know how else to say that a robot possessed it without outright saying that ‘a robot possessed it.’

At least he doesn’t try to give him another toaster for free this time.

With the new toaster in tow, Saihara takes his leave from the shop. It’s shiny and silver on the box, which means it’ll probably be a muddled grey when he puts it on the counter. Oh well. All he cares is about whether it functions or not.

It takes him longer to get back to the apartment than he planned, the new toaster weighing significantly more than the old one, but it's still late morning when he arrives. It's dead quiet and completely still inside.

Saihara sets the new toaster on the counter, when his eye catches a note taped to the table. He picks it up and recognizes Kaede’s neat scrawl.

_‘At therapy. Text if you need me, don't call.’_

That's enough to remind him that he needs to call his therapist. Sometimes he still feels weird around his therapist. He trusts her, but he can't ever look her in the eyes without seeing the sickeningly sweet smile of Team _Dangan Ronpa’s_ resident ‘psychologist.’

His stomach churns. Maybe he won't call her just yet. There's too many phantoms in his head right now.

-

 **chab:** [[ _are you going_ ]]

Saihara looks down at the notification on his phone, then freezes up. His fingers hover above the keyboard for a moment, unsure of how to respond to Tenko’s text.

[[ _To what?_ ]]

 **chab:** [[ _dont play dumb with me shuuichi-kun_ ]]

 **chab:** [[ _are you going to shinguuji-san’s party thing_ ]]

Saihara’s teeth move across the top of his lip. He absolutely is, but can he really tell Tenko that? It was an unspoken rule between the two of them: she never brought up Shirogane, he never mentioned Shinguuji, Himiko, or Angie.

[[ _Yes. …Are you?_ ]]

 **chab:** [[ _i don't know. im scared. it sounds fun but i dont want to see you-know-who_ ]]

His stomach lurches. A tight feeling forms in his throat.

[[ _I… don't want to see ‘her’ personally. But I think it could be an experience. Does that make sense?_ ]]

 **chab:** [[ _i guess._ ]]

The conversation stops after that.

-

“How are we getting to Shinguuji-kun’s?”

Saihara sets down his pencil and scratches his chin in thought. He hadn’t actually made a plan for that, but considering that Shinguuji lives outside the city, that’s something they need to work out. He ponders it for a moment and then says, “The… bus?”

Kaede hums along as she stares at the microwave. The inside is lit up as it spins around, heating up her day old curry and rice. She asks, “Is there a line that can take us there?”

Saihara shrugs and looks back at his half-baked sketch of the misshapen glass vase that sits on top of the fridge, gathering dust. He pushes it away and reaches for his cellphone. There’s bus lines that extend all over the city, and a stop that’s very near to Shinguuji’s house. It would only be a five minute walk to the stop, and then another ten to the party after arriving.

Of course, there is the matter of the forty minute bus ride, but Saihara decides to worry about that when the time comes. Hopefully he won’t get carsick this time.

-

**to: shara@tdr.com**

**from: kguuji@tdr.com**

_Hello Saihara-kun! Thank you for RSVPing to the party! If possible, could you bring a dish or something? It’s okay if you’re not able, I understand. We can’t wait to see you!_

**to: kguuji@tdr.com**

**from: shara@tdr.com**

_Sure, I can supply something. Any requests? Also, what time should we get here?_

**to: shara@tdr.com**

**cc: rmami@tdr.com, kjou@tdr.com, aaga@tdr.com,** **9 others.**

**from: kguuji@tdr.com**

_For all! A variety of dishes would be lovely, but please do not feel pressured. However if you do, please do not bring anything that contains walnuts! I am deathly allergic. The party starts at 5PM, but feel free to arrive earlier or later. I hope you can all make it! -Shinguuji._

**to: kguuji@tdr.com**

**from: shara@tdr.com**

_Of course. We’ll be there for sure._

**Would you like to draft this email? [YES] NO**

**Email drafted.**

-

The eighth comes quicker than either he or Kaede would like. Before either of them can really feel prepared for it, they’re on the bus, carrying a takeout box from a place called ‘Chronic Curry.’

Kaede bounces her leg and looks out the window the whole time. Both of them are listening to music - with separate pairs of headphones due to drastic different tastes in music, as one road trip proved - and completely silent.

Luckily, with powerful - or emo, as Kaede calls it - music of BORN on his side, the forty minute bus ride isn’t too much trouble. He feels a little sick around the half hour mark, but manages to pull through.

Shinguuji’s house isn’t hard to find, mostly due to the fact that he had attached a high quality photograph of it to his email, which Saihara had printed off and was now carrying, but also because of the streamers covering the front porch.

Taped to the front door is a sign that reads ‘Please follow the arrows to the backyard! Thank you!’ Saihara and Kaede exchange a glance, shrug, and follow the arrows that seem to have been drawn on coloured construction paper and tacked on haphazardly to the sides of the house and the trees.

In the backyard, soft music is playing, and a few people are around and talking. Saihara instantly recognizes Kaito, but does a doubletake at the sight of Shinguuji. His hair is fairly shorter than it was last year - but still very long - and tied into a handsome ponytail.

He still has the face mask, though. Some things never change.

There’s also a woman leaning against a stone wall off to the side that Saihara doesn’t recognize. She looks a little bit like Shinguuji, but significantly older.

The gate swings closed behind them, and they all look over at them. Shinguuji waves, and they walk in his direction, while he bounds up to them like an overzealous puppy.

“Akamatsu-san, Saihara-kun!” Shinguuji greets cheerfully, “It’s wonderful to see you two!”

Kaede smiles awkwardly, “To you as well. How have you been?”

Shinguuji begins to talk, and Saihara intently listens at first, but soon spaces out. A happy Shinguuji is a talkative one, it seems, and he’s never been good at holding long conversations. Eventually, he whispers an excuse about putting the curry down, and slinks over to a table with some food and a bowl of punch.

“H-Hi, Saihara-kun,” says a soft voice.

He turns, eyes widening, “Ouma-kun?”

Ouma’s features are still soft with youth. His hair is long and fluffy, as well as a stark white. Most of him is hidden by a warm looking blanket.

“I k-know,” he murmurs, “I look a little different, don't I?”

Saihara says, “Not so different… It's good to see you again. I… realize we kind of lost contact.”

Ouma doesn't seem bothered by it. He says, “I expected it, really. I know I'm not really the kind of person who deserves other people.”

Saihara flinches, “I’m sorry about-”

“No, don't be,” Ouma says quickly, “Do you… do you want some… some punch?”

“I mean, I guess, but-”

Ouma says, “Watch.” He looks down at his hand which is resting on the arm of his wheelchair, focuses on it desperately, then lifts one finger just enough to press a button. An arm extends out of the back of the chair, knocks over a bowl, and grabs a plastic cup. Then it dips the cup into the punch bowl, jerks the cup up rapidly, and presents it to Saihara, some of it splashing onto his shirt.

“S-Sorry…” Ouma whispers, “We're still ironing out the bugs.”

Saihara dabs at his shirt with a napkin, “It's fine, don't worry. Er… about your hand…”

Ouma smiles, “Korekiyo-kun got me into taking water aerobics! I'll never be able to walk again… but it’s a start. He and Miyadera-san have been nothing but kind to me… It’s… strange.”

Saihara says, “Oh, that’s good- Miyadera?”

“A-Ah,” Ouma says, jerking his head a bit. Saihara turns to see that he’s generally trying to gesture at the dark haired girl who won’t leave the comfort of the shade, “Korekiyo-kun’s older sister. She’s a b-bit standoffish, but she’s… she’s really nice. I’ve actually been… been living with them for the past couple years.”

Saihara cocks his head, “You have? I didn’t know that.”

Ouma replies, “I-I didn’t tell… I didn’t tell anyone. B-But, it’s been really nice. I like it here… Feels like I have some purpose, for once.”

Saihara nods along. Purpose is something he isn’t sure he’s found just yet.

He stands with Ouma for a bit, making quiet conversation, when the back gate swings open again. Arriving are Amami and Kirumi, the latter carrying a box of unknown origins. Saihara sneaks a glance at Kaede, whose deep conversation with Shinguuji seems to have halted. She hasn’t flinched, but has indeed gone rigid.

Luckily, Shinguuji puts a hand on her shoulder and resumes talking, easing Kaede’s stress. Saihara quickly crosses over to greet them both, hoping to dispel any awkwardness blooming.

“H-Hey!” Saihara says, “I haven’t seen you two in a while!”

Kirumi smiles and waves, but Amami takes a second to place a hand on Saihara’s shoulder and looks him directly in the eye. His gaze holds still for a long second, then says, “Saihara!”

“You remembered!” Saihara replies. His mind flashes back to the wedding, when Amami had clapped his back and called him ‘Harukawa.’ Maki hadn’t even been attending.

Amami grins, “I’ve been practicing. Kirumi made flashcards!”

Kirumi waves her hand gently, “It’s good to see you too, Saihara-kun. Did you find that new apartment?”

He nods, “Yeah, it was a difficult find, but a good one.”

“That's good to-”

At that second, the gate swings open again, Gonta and Hoshi coming through this time, with the latter sitting on the former’s shoulder. To Saihara’s surprise, they sport matching wedding rings. He smiles softly.

Amami drifts over to say hello, while Kirumi moves towards the table, seeming to want to keep her distance. Saihara hovers in place for a bit, then sidles back to where Kaede is, her face tight once more.

Ten years is ten years, but not all wounds heal with time, it seems. He knows that he still bleeds over the events of the simulation.

Shinguuji is still talking about something. Saihara attempts to immerse himself in the conversation, but only manages to get confused.

“-and that was when I bit down on the eggshells,” Shinguuji finishes with a flourish. Saihara blinks a few times, while Kaede uncomfortably shifts in place. He’s privately glad that he missed the riveting story.

“S-Shinguuji-kun?” Kaede asks, “Ah, what time is it?”

He reaches into his pocket and produces his phone. For one second, Saihara catches a glimpse of a person with blonde hair who has their arm wrapped around Shinguuji on the lockscreen before he puts the phone away, “It’s five forty-eight. Is there a problem?”

Kaede shakes her head, “N-No… I just forgot my watch.”

“Are you okay?” Saihara mumbles to Kaede.

She shrugs and whispers back, “I have to be, don’t I?”

He doesn’t really have a good enough response for that, and Shinguuji’s already talking about some other escapade he’s gone on recently, apparently involving him climbing through someone’s vents. At some point during his story, Angie and Himiko arrive, because when Saihara turns around, the former is chatting happily with Ouma, while the latter is sitting with Gonta and Hoshi.

Kaede says under her breath, “Are you going to talk to them?”

Saihara rubs his thumb against his forefinger in a calming rhythm, “I… don’t know.”

Before he can think on the idea too hard, the gate flies open again, and Iruma cartwheels into the yard at the speed of light. Right behind her is Tenko, who seems amused by the blonde’s antics.

“Hey!” Iruma shouts, “You fuckers can start the party now that I’m here!”

Nobody moves.

“Okay, fuck you too,” Iruma mumbles, and shuffles off towards the table of food.

Saihara heads over to where Tenko is standing, trying not to chuckle, “Hey, Tenko-san! I’m really glad to see you. I… didn’t think you’d come.”

Tenko rubs her neck, “I didn’t think I would either. But Iruma-san really wanted to go, and I didn’t want to say no to her.”

“Oh?” Saihara raises an eyebrow, “I didn’t realize that you two were-”

Tenko’s face flushes, “Gah! Don’t be ridiculous, we’re not…! She lives in the same apartment building as me. And… she drove me here too.”

Saihara smiles, “I'm glad that the two of you have connected.”

Somehow, the flush on Tenko's face deepens. She quickly tries to cover it by saying, “Did you know Iruma-san’s a teacher now?”

Saihara turns to find Iruma again amongst the others, and sees that she’s managed to tackle Shinguuji to the ground. He looks back at Tenko, “You’re kidding, right?”

“Iruma-sensei’s a big hit with the kids,” Tenko replies.

“What about you?” Saihara asks, “You’ve hardly said anything about yourself tonight.”

Tenko shrugs, “Well I mean, we’ve been in contact all this time, right? But uh… my cats are doing well! And I’ve learned some new card games, but I don’t really do anything interesting.”

Saihara replies, “Anything that you do is interesting to me.”

Tenko swats his arm, then giggles. Saihara laughs back, and soon the two are unable to breath, even though the situation wasn’t particularly funny. That’s okay, though. Things are like how they used to be when the two of them were kids.

Maybe the party was a good idea after all.

Saihara opens his mouth to express this, when the gate flies open, and Maki comes through it. She looks around, and then upon sighting him, approaches him with a deathly gaze. She hasn’t gotten any taller since he last saw her, but somehow, manages to be terrifying.

Maki hisses in a low tone, “If you say or do anything to hurt her feelings, I swear that I will personally end your life.”

He takes a step away from her and she turns back to the gate just as Shirogane enters. Saihara sucks in a sickly breath, and moves away from her as fast as he can without running.

“A-Are you...?” Tenko asks quietly.

Saihara whispers, “I don’t know. But I… I don’t want to think about it now.”

At that moment, Shinguuji calls out, “Ah! Now that everyone’s here, we can eat! Please, take a seat at the table!” He gestures to the food laden table, then says softly, “Oh... I forgot to get the lawn chairs out.”

His sister - Miyadera, if Saihara remembers correctly from his conversation with Ouma - moves for the first time since he’s arrived and says, “I’ll help. The rest of you just hold on a moment.”

After ten minutes of dragging chairs out, the sixteen of them are placed at random around the table. Saihara finds himself squashed in between Iruma and Hoshi. It’s not a bad placement, especially since Amami has Shirogane and Kaede on either side of him. The green haired man doesn’t seem too bothered by it, but Kirumi’s eyes are shooting daggers at Shirogane.

Saihara eats in silence, listening to the tales of Hoshi and Gonta’s fishing trip, of Kaito’s trip to Singapore, even about Angie’s art show. It’s nice to hear what everyone’s been doing lately, and he silently regrets never reaching out to so many of them.

After all, they’re his _friends._ And besides his uncle, there’s nobody in the world he cares about more than the people sitting at the table with him.

Part of him wonders why he’s being so goddamn emotional.

“-and when my flower shop opens…” Himiko says, “All of you get a fifteen percent discount on the first bouquet you order.”

Angie claps her hands in delight, and Gonta, Ouma, Kirumi, and even Maki nod in interest. Saihara stirs his katsudon as she begins to talk more in depth about it.

(To his right, over Hoshi’s head, he spots Tenko push her food away.)

As dinner finishes, Saihara helps Shinguuji and Miyadera put away the dishes and extra food. He scrapes the remains into various containers, and when he’s completed all that, Shinguuji calls him over to a large closet.

“Tell me, Saihara-kun,” he says with utmost seriousness, “Which of these board games do you think would be the most fun for everyone to play?”

Saihara looks the shelf up and down, then says, “Ah… Mahjong? Or maybe, uh, Candyland?” Admittedly, he doesn’t recognize most of them. Shinguuji continues to confuse him, somehow.

Shinguuji nods and takes the selected titles out of the closet. Saihara wonders why he owns so many board games, but decides not to ask him about it. There’s probably some grand and slightly illegal story behind it.

Back out in the yard, Shinguuji just has time to tell everyone about the games available - and that ‘there are more inside, should anyone not be interested in these!’ - when Kaito swings an arm around Saihara and whispers into his ear, “Come with me.”

Saihara follows him up a small hillside on the far side of the yard that leads to a small grassy ledge that overlooks the whole party. Kaito has noticeably smuggled the entire punch bowl up there already, and sits down beside it.

“Well, Shuuichi,” Kaito says as Saihara takes a seat on the fluffy grass, “it looks like it’s just you, me, and the end of the world. And Ouma too, I guess.”

Saihara raises an eyebrow at him, “What are you talking about?”

Kaito waves his arm vaguely at the people below, “Look at them.”

Saihara squints. Shirogane and Maki are still attached by the hip, but Hoshi is chuckling at one of Iruma’s jokes, Ouma is smiling and talking to Amami, Kaede is spinning Tenko around in circles, and Gonta seems to be talking to Kiibo’s tablet.

“Well, unless you and Akamatsu got-”

With more force than necessary, Saihara says, “No. I’m over her anyways. And besides, that doesn’t really matter. I mean, we’re all friends, and isn’t that the important part?”

Kaito seems to mull over his words, “Yeah, you’re right. I’m glad that I have you, Shuuichi! You’ll always be my best friend.”

Saihara smiles, and looks down at the party again. Everyone’s _happy._ It’s a nice change from the terrible, stormy, ending in bloodshed parties he imagined in his head during the days prior.

“Still,” Kaito takes a swig of the fruit punch, "Shinguuji's actually engaged. Did you hear?"

Saihara hadn't, but he supposes it does explain the lock screen on Shinguuji's phone. He shrugs and says, “I’m glad for him. He deserves someone that’ll make him happy.”

He and Kaito stay up on the grass for some time, drinking the stolen punch until the bowl runs dry. Stars are beginning to dot the sky, and the air has cooled considerably.

At quarter after nine, Kaede approaches him and says softly, “Hey, Shuuichi. We need to head out soon if we’re going to catch the bus. I’m just going to wash up.”

Saihara nods, “Of course. I’ll be down in just a moment.”

Kaito says quietly, “Does that mean that this is goodbye for now?”

Saihara says, “It looks like it. I’m glad that I got to see you, though. Maybe you can come visit us sometime soon! Just… don’t kick down the door again.”

Kaito laughs, “No promises.”

He walks with Saihara down to where the rest of the guests are. Shinguuji turns and says, “Ah, Saihara-kun, are you leaving soon? That’s too bad.”

Saihara replies, “Mmhm. Sorry to have to part so soon. I had a good time, and it was good to see everyone again.”

Shinguuji nods enthusiastically, “Yes! We should do this again! And not wait a decade to do it.”

“Agreed.”

Kaede’s still not back, so Saihara turns around. He spots Shirogane standing by the table, looking a little lost. Maki is nowhere in sight.

Every bone in Saihara’s body screams at him, but he ignores them all, and walks over to her. Shirogane’s blue hair has been cut short into a neat little bob.

“Uh, hi, Shirogane-san,” Saihara spits out. It feels so strange, using an honorific on her for the first time in ten years.

Shirogane’s eyes widen considerably, “S-S-Saihara-kun! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, er… Hello?”

Saihara gulps. He can’t figure out what’s motivated him to do this, but he figures he’ll regret it if he doesn’t get this out, “I’m sorry for how I treated you. After the simulation ended, I was awful to you at every opportunity I had.”

Shirogane blinks in confusion, “Huh?”

“Even though you spilled your life story to me,” Saihara continues, “Even though you still _tried_ to be nice to me, I was rude and you… you didn’t deserve that. And I never got to apologize to you.”

Shirogane pushes up her glasses, “I mean… I appreciate that so much, you have no idea… But I should be the one apologizing to you. I never truly did that, _and_ I hurt you irreversibly. That’s something that I can’t fix with a simple apology.”

Saihara responds, “Then… how about we call it even? Water under the bridge?”

“W-Water under the bridge,” Shirogane smiles weakly, and shakes his hand.

They stare at each other awkwardly for a moment, then Saihara drifts back towards the back door, where Kaede soon emerges. The two of them wave to the rest, who shout their goodbyes.

“After you,” Saihara says to Kaede, holding the gate open for her.

Kaede grins and walks out. Saihara follows her, but turns around for one last look. All of them are filled with joy. Even Shirogane has a tiny smile on her face, one that grows once she spots Maki come out of the house.

He leaves with his own smile. He leaves with pure and utter bliss.

-

Kaede falls asleep on the bus on the way home. Saihara watches her to make sure that she doesn’t fall over, reliving the party in his mind. It was good to see everyone, and he’s so glad to have some weight off of his chest, but now he feels hollow. He missed the others more than he thought.

The bus rolls smoothly through town, making only a few stops. The bright lights contrast with the dark outside, and Saihara finds himself squinting every few minutes. It’s been a very long day for him, and there’s still a ways to go.

The sign overhead changes again, and Saihara shakes her gently. Kaede slowly blinks open her eyes, yawning, “Mm?”

“We’re getting off in two stops,” Saihara replies softly, “You have your ticket, right?”

Kaede waves the tiny piece of paper, “‘m good… Don’t worry ‘bout me.”

Saihara tries not to smile, but he can’t help himself. They sit quietly until the stop on the monitor is theirs. Kaede presses the button on the wall for the stop, and slowly gets to her feet.

The bus comes to a halt, and the two exit the bus after depositing their respective tickets and fares. It’s a five minute walk to their apartment now. Kaede stumbles a bit, but she’s able to make it all the way into the building and up the elevator.

Inside, she sits down at the table and lays her head down on it, “I’ll just… pass out here. G’night, Shuuichi.” Saihara chuckles and sits down next to her. She puts her head back up, but yawns again, more intensely than before, “What?”

Saihara says, “I’m glad that we went to that party. I wasn’t sure about it at first… But I know I would have regretted it for the rest of my life if I hadn’t gone.”

Kaede grins, “Absolutely. I had such a good time, and I was so glad to meet up with everyone again! We should have done something like this before.”

Saihara hums in agreement and rubs his eyes.

“Hey… Shuuichi?” Kaede asks, tapping her fingers on her arm.

He looks over at her, trying to ignore the pulsing phosphenes, “Yeah?”

Kaede smiles lightly, then says, “Y’know… we never got married.”

“S-Should we have?” Saihara stumbles over his words, “I mean, we’re not even dating or anything-”

Kaede laughs, “You’re cute when you’re flustered. No, just… I still like you, if you can believe it. I tried to drop my feelings during the years we spent apart, but they’ve come back.”

Saihara stares at her for a moment, “W-What? I mean… You…”

Kaede’s cheeks flush, “I feel like a stupid teenager… See, I liked you even when we were still in that compound… but I cut it off, because I didn’t want you falling for the person I was pretending to be. And I thought that if I stayed away from you, I wouldn’t be in love with you anymore. For a while, I was right, but then I came back, and I fell in love all over again.”

Saihara rubs his neck, “I never expected that you… Actually did like me.”

Kaede sighs, “I’ve held that in for almost ten years. It feels really good to say it, but now I feel so light headed.”

Saihara awkwardly reaches out, takes her hand in his, then says, “I still like you too. I thought about you so much, even though you never contacted me… is that strange? I didn't want to forget about you.”

Kaede smiles, “I thought about you too. I wanted to keep you around, because you always managed to make me at least a little bit happier.”

She rises from her seat, and pecks him on the cheek, “I should… really sleep. But let’s talk more about this tomorrow… okay? Good night, Shuuichi.”

He flushes, “G-G-Good night, K-Kaede.”

With that, she heads into her bedroom, and closes the door. Saihara leans back in his chair, unsure of what to do or say.

Eventually, he stands, leaving the kitchen table behind. He makes his way into his own room, changes into pajamas, then lies down under his blankets.

He has a lot of things ahead of him, more than he ever would have believed ten years ago. Saihara smiles to himself, and falls asleep thinking of his friends - his friends that he'd like to think that, for once, he truly knows.

The gentle creaking of the apartment lulls him to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> alt (slightly angstier) ending for those who care https://pastebin.com/edjvDMBP
> 
> Ah! I can't believe that I'm actually done this series. I started it as a one shot, and I never planned to continue it, but then I got that comment from someone saying that they'd like to see more... and this giant mess spiralled out of it.
> 
> Massive props to everyone who's read this fic up until it's completion! I love all of you!


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